Had a long day of tests yesterday. The test results had me considering my mortality once again.
What if my end comes soon?
I find myself surprisingly unfazed. Why aren’t I upset by the thought of dying?
Upon deep introspection I find that it just doesn’t feel like dying will be the end of me, as I know me.
I do not have a belief in heaven with angels singing and me sitting with God. It’s just that every time I looked deeply into the nature of reality, the universe, and God, I continue to be amazed at the awesome complexity and at the same time amazing coherence and unity. Out of the complexity is a simple – more.
I know skeptics who feel that this is all there is. For them, the results seem to be an emotional dissipation coupled with an indistinct desire for society to improve over time.
For me, everywhere I look there is more. There is more to life than just me. There’s more to the universe than we know. There’s more beauty, more of love, more honesty than I have ever touched or even can imagine. With my science and mathematics background I know that this universe is just part of something much bigger. With my mystic faith I can feel the vibrations of the more.
The one thing I am sure of is that this universe, this life, is filled with more.
If the universe is based upon/created through this more, and since I am part of this universe, then I am part of this more.
This more-ness feels true.
If I am right, or if I am wrong doesn’t really matter to this moment. My orientation towards the more has made me a better and wiser person. I have lost nothing by my belief and I have gained a marvelous life.
Within this more I can find no definitive reason not to believe that “I” will continue. It’s possible. It makes me a better person. It feels true.